First day down.

I have to tell myself to be strong, that I can do this alone.

Honestly, I'm not so sure. I'm not even sure I can last this week in the state I am now. But at least at some points of today, I find myself insisting I can, however terrible it gets.

Just when I thought the worse is here and I'll just grin and bear it out, the low really struck. At points in my life, I have felt the lows of life so badly that it's shaken my confidence to face the world as me. But today was simply the mother of all fucked days after these 2 nights.

I used to have a cushion to allievate all unhappiness and minimise all damage I've suffered emotionally.

But what happens now when the support is precisely the one who is digging your insides now?

Me:"Do you think the status we display in our friendster and facebook affects our relationship?"
Ryan:"It certainly does. If you claim you love this person, you'll definitely want the whole world to know you're with him/her. You want that recognition for yourself too. Even if in reality, you do showcase him/her as your love, it should be uniform in all virtual settings too."

But it has never been the case for me. Has this been the prick ever since then?

Why do we always only blog when negative strikes?
Like Ryan mentioned, I guess its coz loneliness has never gotten better company than the internet.

This day is terrible. Terrible to bear. terrible to return to even in memory.

I wish there is some way where you can leave this world physically without hurting youre family.