Deafening silence of the heart,
injecting faith revives none.










Hear my silent scream.
Abandoned for all but me.

It's funny how some people assume changing a part of their lives or belongings signifies a new beginning of themselves.

It has never been and it will never be.

A close pal decided to change her image so her "boyfriend will be attracted to the irresistable new her" in her exact words.

To begin with, a boyfriend who requires you to change to be "irresistable" to him shouldn't be worth your time. In fact, it should have been your irresistable character which lured him to you in the first place. One very HUGE indication of where you stand in his heart based on his words.

Of course it could be a mere misintepretion of his words. Girls being females, we are bound to dissect and analyse every word and every expression of the one we love. At times, such minute playback of every detail backfires and that's when the mind plays tricks.

I was told "You are not pretty at all. Your looks are just durable." Indignant friends pushed at me to end things immediately, insisting I deserved better. It cut me up and tortures me long after this comment was passed. Even when the comment was later pushed over, it returned again and again in the silence of the night to haunt me. It tickles my confidence like a feather on a feet.

Did he truly meant the first comment and simply change tack now just to make me feel better about myself? Was it due to my sensitivity that I misread his words the first time round? Or did I intepret that correctly and he is pulling wool over my eyes now?

I am never sure after that comment. And I find it such a torture till now. Therefore I'll say, just let go of him who does not think you are irresistable. For I am living such a torture second-guessing and over-analysing.

L.O.V.E.
Its a many splendid thing. All you need is love, all you need is love. -Christian Moulin Rouge

I beg to differ. Love can last in a person's life time yet disappear the instant an old flame returns. Love is expressed in every known word yet it doesnt quite convey the true depth of
your feelings when the occasion arises. Love floats you on cloud nine for as long as it lasts yet throws you into an abyss at every opportunity.

Love is everything in life yet comes to nothing in the end.

It shares the same logic as "Can't live with men, can't live without them."

Damn.

48 agonising hours later, I found myself within 5km radius of the bag AGAIN. The cold turkey was unbearable and its threatening Baby's sleep and mental tolerance threshold. I swear its an understatement that Baby was tempted to knock me senseless after my repeated chants of "buy me that Chloe", especially so when he was on MC.

I tried persuading myself that MiuMiu makes a much better choice. That Prada shoes are pretty comforting too. Marc Jacob's clutch is wonderful as well. But when I took one more look at Chloe, I swear its hit-and-run with absolutely no intact remains left.

I've experienced my first true love.

"MiuMiu is a high end brand whereas Chloe belongs to luxurious goods. Not everyone can carry our goods but this bag belongs to you. It's perfect on you."-Chloe saleswoman.

If ever there is a most powerful speech award, that just won a Nobel.

The deal was sealed and I floated out of the store.

And that's how I ended up with a Chloe bag.

My 21 years of existence has not gone to waste.

:) :) :) :) :)