I wonder....

if I were a tourist, what would I stunble upon in my journey of life?

Do you think a tourist will visit my places of attraction in life or roam to where its restricted? Will this tourist feel excited about the forthcoming part or will she learn to despise them? Take snapshots and proud of the trip to show all or slink back in disgust and run as far as possible?

I have no major achievements to my name. I am no receiver of President's Scholarship. I am not backed by a mountain of money. I do not indulge in life's ultimate luxury. I will not be a glamorous doctor or hotshot lawyer. I cannot be the next Miss Singapore and never will be.

But a walk down memory lane doesnt push me off the cliff. There are moments which I cringed in embarrassment at as well as times when I can't wipe the smile on my face.

So.....in a nutshell, my life isnt too bad after all. :)

In the spirit of being a chinese,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Huat ah!!! May there be a better address, more drinks, more sex, better companions for drinks and clubbing, better health, more more loving and money money money come our way!

Happy Minnie Mouse Year!

On a (very much) lighter note....

(after my last post, I've got a tonne of response which I never thought I'd garnered) I am excitedly dreading Chinese New Year.

Year in, year out, I find myself staring blankly at TV programmes repeating itself for the hundred thousand million time, taking on the role of parrot having to repeat myself over and over again.

In simpler terms, I DETEST house visits.

After complimenting on my latest entry and deciding we are equally hot, ZhenXu asked me if I remember what I did for last CNY or the previous years.

I thought a millisecond and know I've all but forgotten about them. Simply coz its not worth a claim on my memory space.

On the other hand, the angpows more than make up for the dreadful blank periods!

At the risk of sounding like a golddigging bimbotic bitch, I'd like to say angpows are my ultimate attraction!

A thing called Facebook...

is determining my popularity, my worth on Earth and dictating my life.

Or so it appears to be.

It seems we, The Superior Homo Sapiens, known to walk on 2 limbs, think with an advanced brain, invented an inanimate system to determine our worth.

I am very impressed.

With our thinking ability. Or rather, the lack of it.

I do not know all my friends in Facebook in reality. I barely nod to acknowledge them in fact. Yet I've got them in my contact list and I wonder why. Am I merely succumbing to peer pressure or is it due to an intense craving to dispel loneliness? The latter is utterly rubbish for I am anything but lonely in my current state of life. It's been eons since I've time to myself. Maybe now will be a good time to pull away from all of it and just think of myself. The former is highly unlikely too. Simply coz I'm past the age of peer pressure. I shall relegate such rights to teenagers and those severely insecure.

Why then am I entertaining practically strangers on a platform which reeks of insincerity?

The only answer I can come up with (and one which I strongly believe in) is that I do not wish to appear to be Miss Unpopular to the mass.

Much as we like to dismiss others as nothing, we care about how others see us. Sometimes, its so intense that we come to care more than we should. I wont deny that there are days when I was down merely due to one negative comment from a passerby in the streets. I have to confess I feel so self-conscious the moment I spot (or imagine) someone looking my way.

Everything we do, opt for, dress as, copy or act as, derives from this inbuilt insecurity. I have people saying they do not care how others see them. Yet they comb their hair, dress a certain style and care to look into the mirror every single day without fail. EVERY SINGLE DAY. And I smile at them saying, "Alright!" while cursing "Hypocrite" in my heart. (Yes, pot calling the kettle black. But you can't deny that they deserve it!)

If I didnt care how others see me, I wouldn't have spent a fortune on apparel, cosmetics and hairdressing. If you don't care about the way others view you, you won't be roaming shopping malls/online shops/ebay/yahoo auctions/etc etc to look for something to fit you. You would have don a shirt bought from the wet market downstairs n wear it till the threads fray, Asshole. You will put on ANY pair of pants nearest to you and go to wherever you wish to (May God bless you if you do though).

I'm no fashion plate myself. But at least I bother to groom my appearance as best as I can.

I'm no fashion expert prancing around Paris 4 seasons in a year. But I own a style of my own at the very least.

I'm not dressed appropriately/superbly every moment. But I try to dress according to my mood for every occasion.

I dont have a famous cast to call my friends on my mobile/facebook/friendster. But I do see/contact/talk to them in REAL life.

I am no Miss Popularity. But I have a harem of girlfriends/bff to call my own when need be.

I dont possess the best features, the most beautiful face/figure, the best personality. But I am real to those who matter.

I think that makes me better off than most.

In fact, I believe myself to have an edge over the pathetic fools hooked on allowing others to determine their worth on a mere nonexistent online platform.

I guess this is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot, this is why this is why I'm hot. I'm hot coz I'm fly, you aint coz you're not.

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright alright.....I shall climb down from my cloud in my 5inch stilettos in a moment.

Abandoned remembrance

"May I know who's this?"
And we're off on a journey back to being Siglapians.

Sometimes, we wish to hang onto the comfort of schooling friends very much. Yet reality drifts us all apart when we venture in different directions. I am guilty to letting too much things slip by between my ex-classmates and I. What about you? Arn't there people whom you wish you still keep in contact with? To know how they are doing, what they are doing, where they are at this point in time?

After the conversation with Durrah, I do. Very very much.

I wish to see 4H boys in their uniform shaved heads. I hope to converse with Nat, May, Huiying, Jieling, etc etc face-to-face after the gap of 4years. At this point, I ask myself, has it really been THAT long? And to be truthful, it HAS been and more.

There are parts of our lives which can't fit together now. Points of importance which we've missed out on each other. Memories no longer confined to us, or to do with us even.

Back in Siglap days, we werent slogging as we should be. We messed around like monkeys, fooled around and placed every single graduating class teachers at risk of losing their jobs.

Thankfully, we pulled through. Rather remarkably.

Frankly, I would give anything to go through it again. (Technically, its only right to say i'll give anything, but in actual fact, there's a limit alright?)