This makes sense.

In fact, this makes one great sense.

Hm......I love Baby.

Has it ever....

occur to you that you are indeed more alone in the world than you imagine?

It came up in my mind more than I would like it to.

Girls Just Want...

some loving at times. It doesnt matter that you are not good at expressing yourself. Just a simple "I love you" works too. The best, in fact.

some hugging at times. Even when we are upset at the world, at the sky, at the people, at you, just give us a tight hug and the world will seem fine.

some pampering at times. Girls are just that. Girls. Send a few flowers, adopt a favourite song, reserve a table at a restuarant, lavish pampering. Just to name a few.

some fun at times. Who in their right minds hate fun?? Not me. Not the girls. So let us have fun with you, with friends, with family.

some whining at times. We may have achieved an equal standing in society as men. But our web of emotions are just as complicated. Pardon us a few moments of complain, kiss away the worries and you wont hear it again.

But is there any way to dispel insecurity? They slink around in the shadows in the face of the love, pounce at the slightest shaky opportunity.

Do impart such skill if you know of any.

2 weeks of school passed. We are settling into a routine by now.

Roomie is crazier as ever. With 4 lame people in a room, we disturb all the residents whenever my baby and I stay. Drinking all the way into wee hours. Polluting the air AND my lungs every single time we are together. It got to extent of baby buying us a balloon bursting gadget for us to play. Loser drinks. And guess who finishes HIS cans of beer first?

School work. School work. School work.

Surprisingly, the math tutor was replaced with a "feminine" man who can TEACH.

I think I am too famished to type now. Shall wait till my pasta and salad arrives before making anymore updates.

Back to hostel for school. I chose to confine myself to 4 walls for the sake of school. Other factors cast the decision to move back too.

And I'm starting to have regrets.

Regrets for restricting myself to a stale variety of food. For allowing myself to stay in a place which is out of a jungle. One half of a room which is light years away from supermarket.

To console myself though, I've got a bottle of gin with bottles of lemon juice. I keep a stash of biscuits and what nots. I have Baby's (ugly and mothballs smelling cum damn kiddy) blanket and a (super black black colour, bean-filled) pillow. I have a roomie who is slightly crazy, forever throwing clothes on my bed (which caused me to think it was Baby's shirt and buried my face only to find the smell NOT MY BABY's) and play along to everything.

Frankly though, one thing good coming out of it is BABY GETS TO SLEEP WITH ME! Just for this week, we slept together everyday. Extra :) :) :) :) :)

However, this niceness ends today. He starts in new course next week. Sickening.

I CAN CLUB EVERY WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY to ease my loneliness

My phone bleeped "Beautiful Ones" and for a moment after glancing at the caller id, I figured I read the name wrongly. Yet, when the voice on the other line filters through, I knew my eyes hadnt failed me.



"Hey Wen Qi!!! It's been so long! How are you??"

After a few minutes of pleasantries, Christina got to the point.

"Would you like to tutor one primary one kid? Very good rates. In tampines."



& I realised, its so true that acquaintances do not drop by for no reason. If it sounds offending, I sincerely do not mean it so. And you can't deny the fact that motives drive people to ring up a distant friend to ask of a favour. Haven't you been guilty of the said crime at least once in your life time?



Even so, I ended the strange call with a smile. Simply for the reason that I know she is leading a life she truly wants.



By Singapore standards, graudating in the early 20s from poly or universities IS the norm. In this day and time, how many can say they opted out of the normal runnings and have set up a pet shop of their own? I haven't dared to stray from the mainstream however much my desire pulled me in the opposite direction. & I feel heartened to listen to the upbeat chatter of someone fulfilling her dream, even if it means she will be snubbed for having "no qualifications".



So far into the year of 2008, I felt I've stepped on a different path and am experiencing a different facade of life. I'm shedding my teenage, poised at the transition to adulthood. 21 in a matter of months. I am finally getting a taste of life on my own terms.



Much as I eagerly await the events to be thrown at me, I realised I have sailed through 2007 and achieved something. Things which I have not fully appreciate its values and meanings. Until this quiet night.



I distinctively remember my journey into 2007. It started out low key enough and the first few months were some of the most meaningless days of my life by far. I did not have any resolutions to keep, neither do I intend to keep any.



I came to call a few friends more than just a friend. I get to have someone who matters to me and have him appreciate what I have to offer. The double lives I lead, the outside me and the homely me, were emerged when I introduced Baby to home and he wa accepted without a word. At the risk of sounding cliche, I experienced a whole new world.

Prior to 2007, I equated friendships to effort and smses. I placed my top priority on events totally meaningless at the expense of friendship. I exchanged possible great bonding sessions for a few moments of aimless romance. And I was woken to the fact it requires work to maintain my girlhood if I'm meant to have it at all. And so everything fell into place and I attain a harem of girlfriends to call my own. Now, I have them at every single turn and I spent a fulfilling year enriching my life with girly laughters and vapid gossip.

If it should ever escape your notice due to whatever reasons, I'd like you to know buddies can indeed lift you into cloud nine and lend you the shoulder and ear you so desperately crave in times of need. A little concern goes a long way. So dont you ever substitute it for anything else.

Dearies:
I may disappear for any length of time, but please do not take it offensively. I have everything to thank you for, and I wont forget. Bear with me in times of intolerance, shake me up when I pull away from reality, and just be yourselves as you are all along. In return, I shall strive to be a better friend for you, my dears. I'm just a call away and I do mean it.

To 2008 though, I would like to pick up friendships which I've let dust settled though. Girls like Natalie, Huiying, Jieling, Maybelline, Ginly, Diana. Classmates whom I used to write to, girls whom I used to turn to. I'm sorry for allowing a curtain to fall through between us. But as 2008 sails through, I shall try to pick up where we left off if possible, by none other than what we do best; writing to each other. Expect me in 2008, till then we shall meet again dears.
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Along the time when I picked up my life again, I meet a love which taught me love isnt all that matters in a relationship. The equation has changed and stands corrected. Faith and communication means the difference between heaven and hell. It takes both hands to clap, just like it takes two people in love to be binded together.

I used to doubt the ideal of "abiding by the person you love" and I came to learn its meaning. Sometimes it is an understatement to say you'll bend over backwards to please your love. I know it only too well. Still, no two persons can be exactly the same. So no two ideas can match to a tee. We have our disagreements, arguments and terrible lovers' tiff. But we also know our differences are constructive to the development of our future together. Thus we've learnt to complement each other's disagreements, the value of compromising for the better, the ability to disagree amiably yet drive our points across clearly.

Baby, you know what I have to say to you, just like how I wont forget your words. We were born of Fate, brought together by divine intervention. Treat me with patience and I shall return the favour.

Muhammad Gostan Bin Roti Prata, dont you dare forget our promises.
I love you even if you're just Leonardo Di-Kopi-O.
Even if you decide to do a William Hung, I wont leave you simply coz you belt out "coz she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee."
I'll still give you my exasperated smile when you tell me how Ricky Martin got attracted to your firm butt at ORchard Road and asked you to shake your bum bum and he got famous for imitating your signature butt dance for the 10th million time.

In a nutshell, I enjoy your love even on the days you are simply Andy, my baby.

In 2008 I have to say, we have much to anticipate. :)
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Finally, I have much to say regarding family ties.

Once, on a long forgotten day with the last generation of cousins, ZhenXu pondered aloud,"Do you think we can buy a big house together someday, just the 5 of us and stay together?"

It's been eons since that particular remark and I'm glad to report we are getting on closer after years of drifting apart. Xuxu still spends nightcaps over. Jiaojiao still chats with me once in a while. Brett took to smsing me. Even XiaoPing is getting on the balls with us.

The cousins are working at being the PowerRangers again. And 2008 shall bear witness to the reformation of our respective colour roles in our childhood career. Of that, I hope to be true.
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I have much to watch out for in 2008. I have stuff to fulfil in the coming year. But I shall grow and look back soon enough. For as my favourite line goes, "Time flies, baby. Time slips out of my fingers like sand."

So as we step into the year fresh and bright, enjoy as much as you can dears!
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