My Fish Can Ride a Bicycle

My fish can ride a bicycle,
My fish can climb a tree.
My fish enjoys glass of milk,
My fish takes naps with me.

My fish can play a clarinet,
My fish can bounce a ball.
My fish is no normal fish,
My fish can't swim at all!
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My girls went through this poem today and their homework is to write a poem of exactly the same strand using a different animal. I almost nodded off in class, "observing" for nuts. So I did my homework too.
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My Cat Can Smoke a Pack of Fags

My cat can dance to hiphop tunes,
My cat can drive a van.
My cat enjoys a mug of beer,
My cat snores his way to sleep.

My cat can smoke a pack of fags,
My cat can cook spaghetti.
My cat is no normal cat,
My cat is andy lim!