My Fish Can Ride a Bicycle

My fish can ride a bicycle,
My fish can climb a tree.
My fish enjoys glass of milk,
My fish takes naps with me.

My fish can play a clarinet,
My fish can bounce a ball.
My fish is no normal fish,
My fish can't swim at all!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My girls went through this poem today and their homework is to write a poem of exactly the same strand using a different animal. I almost nodded off in class, "observing" for nuts. So I did my homework too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Cat Can Smoke a Pack of Fags

My cat can dance to hiphop tunes,
My cat can drive a van.
My cat enjoys a mug of beer,
My cat snores his way to sleep.

My cat can smoke a pack of fags,
My cat can cook spaghetti.
My cat is no normal cat,
My cat is andy lim!

One almost complete day of no lessons save one right at the start of the day.But I cant leave just yet though I'm falling asleep at the desk.

After knowing some of the horror stories of some people, I'm glad I got posted to this school. Thing is, no matter how great the environment is, the humanity plays the most important role. And sadly, the EQ department lacks totally.

For every smile torn across the faces, ten thousand daggers flies into your back.

The principal looks a toad half the time, the existing VP is the friendly one who really extends her hands cheerfully while the rest entertains like I'm an airhead.

But then of course there is Mrs Goh, the nice lady who's in charge of us. However she reminds of ginerbread mom in Shrek2 so much,I cant help but smile whenever I see her.

(Oh great.....the stoneface sitting opposite me is back! Gotta log off soon!)

Wonderful magpies for students. Lousy skinbags for teachers. If this is my permanent school, I guess I'm already carving a life as a loner here. So baby, dont tell me to be a good girl anymore.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
and hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man
who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

I'm back in a restricted government school after I've left it gladly a year over ago. And I wasn't dragging my feet this time round. coz....

I'M THE TEACHER NOW!

The girls call me Miss Tan, greet me in the corridor and say prayers for me! That makes me definite teacher now! We had a short prayer in the morning, one after recess and one to end the day. And I dont say the conventional "Goodbye class". We say "God bless, girls!" And they bless us back. Convent school. So girl for me.

Most importantly, I ate my 50cents fishball noodles, drank my 40cent iced milo, snacked on 50cent 3piece nuggets. Not to mention I spent most part of the school day messaging Huda, Jes, Shaf, Teresa & Howie comparing the canteen food. Poor Howie has a 1 dollar peach tea, Teresa got to leave for home early and the poorest of us all, Huda has got to sit in a storeroom AND on top of that! Her school experienced black out TWICE. Sucker school.

In any case, I'm glad for my school. Perhaps coz its a girls' school, they find it easier to accept new faces into their midst. By the end of the lessons, my identity, my school, my house, my hobbies, my msn address, my friendster account has all be probed. By the end of the first observation, I received a candy made in inn-dee-iaa. By the end of the day, the girls decided I should have a christian name coz "Miss Tan, frankly, you look like you have christian name."

And they came up with Lorraine, Desiree, Claire and Geneve. Couldnt quite decide which suits me best so they hosted a vote! Of all the things I expect on my first day, a vote for a name for me definitely wasnt in my expectations. They are still torn amongst themselves regarding the issue still. If you'd like to place a vote, please do so then. I swear to be discreet.

But for some reason(!), baby thought that the girls called me overtin and he wants to be holick.... I am damn confused by him too...he is pretty random like that sometimes....

My random baby who drives me to work in the mornings!

I love being a teacher, being in school and being my baby's baby!And the tuckshop!!!

You.Can.Only.Type.One.Word.

Not as easy as you might think.

1. where is your cell phone?
:: pocket

2. your boyfriend/girlfriend?
:: misplaced

3. your hair?
:: ugly

4. your mother?
:: volcano

5. your father?
:: lambbie

6. your favourite thing?
:: me

7. your dream last night?
:: wet

8. your favourite drink?
:: whatever

9. your dream car?
:: cooper

10. the room you're in?
::dangerous

11. your sister?
:: hairy

12. your fear?
:: lizard

13. what do you want to be in 10years?
::mommy

14. who did you hang out with last night?
:: levon

15. what you're not good at?
::nothing

16. what/who do you hate?
:: lizard

17. one of your wish list items?
:: benefit*

18. the last thing you did?
:: laugh

19. what are you wearing?
:: skin

20. what are you not wearing?
:: odour

21. your pet?
:: andy

22. your computer?
:: pretty

23. your life?
:: exciting

24. your mood?
:: exhilerated

25. missing?
:: andy

26. what are you thinking about right now?
:: lace

27. your work?
:: child-ish

28. your summer?
:: starting

29. your relationship status?
:: attached

30. your favourite?
:: what?

31. when was the last time you laughed?
:: just

32. last time you cried?
::.......................................................

* -benefit is finally in singapore!!!! ask me for more if you dont know okies?

Blog: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page.

Wikipedia left out the fact that it allows me to know what's going on in your lives as I'm going about mine. It forgot the fact that it grants you the ability to look into my mind as you buzz about your activites.

I drop in on your thoughts, your dreams, your lives occasionally. I sit in on your problems most probably. But you may never know I did. It isn't due to bad blood or quarrels which causes drifts amongst us. Just we were busy getting on with life.

At the end of the day though, I still care about you.

However, much as blogs serve as our bridge, it brings about depression easier isn't it? I'm not out of misery. But at least I'm getting out of it. I can merely wish that you've reached the end of the dark forest, that you hear the bright laughter of happiness.

I caught a few snatches of sadness on Huiying's site. The blues drives out the best words. But it doesnt always have to be about adjection. I want mine to be about gratefulness.

Its when you cry your eyes over concern shown
because people are loving you more than you loving yourself.

Its when you start looking after your wounds
because someone is hurting when you let it be.

Its when you pick through the pieces, saving the best
because you want to be the best for him.

Its when you smile first thing in the morning
beacuse you know you're getting somewhere.

Its when I giggle my happiness into the hollow of days, that I know I'll become myself someday.

I'm no longer living my life for myself. Coz I'll be hurting my baby if I do.

P.S. Its my turn to wish that you will be happy again. But quoting from you the sun is still shining brightly in the day, it will reach all corners eventually. Chin up, my dear!

2 days to being Miss Tan!

I just realise I'll be busy like crazy for 5 weeks starting next week.

I start school 7am everyday. Which means I need to be out of bed by 430am to slowly wake myself up. And coz the bus ride takes an hour NOT including the the morning jam, I HAVE to catch the 5plus bus. Then I've got to give tuition on mon, tues, wed and thurs nights most probably.

RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR

Nvm. As long as I have money.

PLEASE SEE ME BEFORE I BECOME A TEACHER!

I realise people read this. And some are using it against me.

I appreciate it if you read and sympathise, or keep quiet, or curse me silently to death or scream vulgarities in front of your com.

DONT USE IT AGAINST ME. FUCK OFF.

And I'm getting my life sorted. I pray to be moving out. SOON. I will grit my teeth and be myself again. I shall know I'm worth it or not.

Lastly, I shall start work this friday. As a teacher! Staff meeting in school by 9am. School life......report for work on monday by 7am. Coz we sing the national anthem by 735am. Sian hor......Pray that the principal will like me. But I can't wait to be a teacher! Shall dye my hair black again by wednesday.

I like me better when I'm a psychopath.

Hey! Hey! You! You!

Thank you to all who has called/smsed/looked after me during this time.

I do love my bestest friends! I feel loved knowing you(s) care. Though I cant say I am better, I do FEEL better momentarily, whenever you(s) cheer me. Its good enough to know you(s) will drop everything to be with me, console the night away, check up on me with calls, treat me to fondue and simply let me vent my frustration driving like an avenging mad woman. I know most of the time I am incoherent. I apologise for that.

At times, I may forget to say thank you for all you(s)'ve done. But I wont forget the sweet comfort, the endless calls and smses, the surprises to cheer me up.

Sometimes, I may appear to take it all in stride and strong. But I'm glad you(s) saw through the facade and chiselled me out from the wall I've erected. I wont ever forget that.

Occasionally, I fall so deep into the abyss and cant see you(s). But I'm grateful to you(s) for pulling me back and holding my hand. I cant forget that.

My life hasnt dip so low ever since......god-knows-when. Once, I said if I'm careful, I'll forget how hard I can cry. Evidently the swollen eyes say it all no matter how I hide. No amount of concealer can help me. I do try so hard to put everything behind. Just that it's not done with me yet. I strive hard to stay happy. But I can't make it stay with me.

Some one told me: "Even with the sweetest smile you muster, the cheery front you carry, I see you breaking inside. Let all your emotions run. You'll feel better."

To this someone:

Some day, I will wake up rested.

One day, I will walk out with my head high.

In the meantime, thank you for holding my hand through.

Thank you, all of you. You know who you are. Really.

I just want it all to be over. Over. Then maybe, just maybe, I can be happy again.

I looked at them with the brightness in my eyes. They make me laugh with the silly talk we love. I hear the comfort extended laced in banter.
She pulled me aside from some stupid foreigner who tried to be funny dancing behind me.
We snapped our memories for this night with flashes of smiles.
With promises for Mambo next week, we separated.
I miss you my dears.

My girls can cheer me up like no one can.
The drinks can drowse me like no drug can.
Dancing kuku can silent the voice in the head like no music can.

& Im still not done with the brightness in my eyes. And I dont know why.

It's hard to ask to just be loved, to not be bought over with gifts I love, to not ever doubt myself and the world, to live in peace with the voice within.

I feel un-rested.
Tired of life, throwing its spite.
Spitting it woes into my mind.
A niche for hiding is deemed a little too much.

Please hold my hand.

At least I'm collecting Xiao Hei today.

Hiatus. Till tomorrow.

Com is in service. Will collect it tomorrow even if the world is ending/starving to death/dying of online withdrawal syptoms/I turn fucking mad.

The pizzas are taking so long. The hydrochloric acid is burning a hole into my intestines.

Anyway, Ting, we'll each get the hugs we so need on wednesday. I swear. Cross my heart out.

I really dont mean to let anybody down. But when I cant confirm and cancel on you repeatedly, it doesnt mean I dont care. I just wish Jeremy can see that. Of all people, you should know.

Not to mention Hyde seems to be back after such a long haitus. She gave me such an evil eye I cut Eddie's call short.

Why is it that everything's tossed into the air the moment its settled? Weird isnt it?

Depression: a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.



The dictionary left out another condition, it neglected that fact that it is contagious.



Girls, being in more contact with our emotions, makes us the fairer sex. Emotions wreck havoc, disintegerates facades, loses control. It is a upsettingly uplifting fact. It's just simply all of us. Or maybe it's just my babes and me.

Overlook the details. Think for the big picture.

But doesnt the details add up to the big picture? If the details are not intrinsically crafted, how great can the picture be? A single bad stroke spoils one painting. So why shouldnt we fuss over how much the guys loves us, how they love us, why they love us, when they love us, what they love about us. after all, if they ask, we'll just answer anything too!

Details weave a relationship. Insecurity frays its seams. So I believe in being honest and pointing out what bothers me. It isnt pretty or nice or comfortable. But if anything, I know I will get only two results. Either its over, or it makes it all the more better. Either I get what I want or I keep it all in and brood till I'm mad.


So.....dont keep it all in. You know who you are. Sometimes tearing out the thorn hurts. But leaving your wound to get infected is worse. You decide for yourself. That's how much I can say.



Say hi to my baby. So stop asking about him. He is called Andy. I call him Technician. And excuse me, only I can call him Tehcnician. So there.

Btw, Jeremy has finally moved on and decided he can be friends. So w are friends....we are yes?? So I've got another shopping/food/donut buddy. No, I've got two more. Sorry I forgot about you Shaun!! (No Eddie, not THAT shaun. this is another shaun.) Loves ice cream, loves books, can go shopping with me. What more can I ask for? Yes?

P.S. The ghost girl is still with me Mr Cool~!

Jess is finally dating! Congrats girl! All the best!

When you first had your hands held by your somone, does your heart threaten to beat its way out of your ribcage? Does your breath catches in your sneezy throat when you're leaning in for your first kiss?

Jess says no. She just feels like she has been dating her someone for a long time and everything was just nice and comfortable. And I felt so comforted there! So I'm not abnormal then.....Her someone held her hands for the very first time when she felt scared, my baby held my hands coz he's afraid I'll be lost from feeling hungry....-_-''

Worse! That's not the first time. The first time he "had sweaty palms" and stupid me had to have feel for myself.

Jess, you're so damn lucky! (I shall investigate more of first hands held.)

Anyway, Night Safari changed so much over the years. Met up with the sugar glider and hog badger the GESL had the zoo brought to the home last year. But apparently, the sugarglider was having its off.....Public holiday I guess, those poor guys need to relax too I expect...Baby blames the lack of show from the animals on the late hotdog. But if the zoo lacks of any animals, I'll gladly donate Andy over. He'll be a great display, lapping up all the attention. I'll let you know of his showtimes if there's a chance!

Moving on, met up Mango, stylist of Baobei and Yang. Got some clothes. (No more shopping. no more shopping. no more shopping.no more shopping. no more shopping. no more shopping UNTIL MY NEXT PAYDAY).

Mango: "Who's fucking bag is this?!"

Eddie/Irene: "My baobei's!"

Mango: "I fucking loooooove it!" (Hey Jer!! everybody loves the white bag you got me! YEA!)

Eddie/Irene:"She's the Chanel baby"

Mango:"Wenqi, your social name shall be Chanel from now on. You are fucking Chanel epitome. Chanel face. Chanel hair. Yang will make you the Chanel girl for clubs next week."

Eddie/Irene:"Ask Yang to draw your eyes bigger. (my eyes very small meh) Use false lashes (I cant paste it properly) Get your black and white dress (I bought one nice one with Yun today) You'll be our Chanel."

Notice I didnt have a say in any part of the conversation.

So.....I dont know!

P.S. See Yun! I dedicated one whole post for you alone! Honoured hor!