I cant stand the headache anymore!

Just let me lie in bed and die!

I shall watch Moulin Rouge.

Again.

And again and again and again.

Until I can finally sleep through this horrible banging in my head.

A couple shuffled slowly along the road. Should I stop to help? Or move on with my day? After all, these people are by-passing them like them are invisible, much less me. People are around them. They can help if they need any.

The husband looks so like he's dragging a mountain of groceries home. The wife looks like she will get blown away by the wind any minute now. The weather seems malicious all of a sudden.

Turns out they lived just behind my block. The hubby's 85, and the wife's 81. They do grocery shopping everyday. Punggol plaza AND Prime. I can't imagine how I can stand to shuffle 30mins a day to Prime then inch my way back using another 30mins, Then after dropping off the groceries, crawl my way to Punggol plaza for NTUC. But that's what they do everyday. Hand in hand.

"Miss, we take care of each other.Neighbours.Husbands and wives. Friends and children. Just take care of each other."

That coming from a married couple of 50over years, it can only be the matra to lasting marriage. Its just so difficult to find such a love from the post-war generation. They are after all the conservative lot. They are the arranged marriages. The forced conditions. Just looking at my granny and grandpa.....hm.....

"That's why we feel lucky. We needn't force ourselves. Just be thankful. Then we can happy, then we can build up everything needed for the marriage."

This old man who's kicking the bucket anytime, having a more positive outlook than me. But I'll just know my happiness, as the old man told me.

"Thank you Miss. Listen to what I said. You're too sweet to go to waste." That's what he told me as I dropped them off at their block, and they shuffled with linked hands away from me.

I wonder who helped who today.....

Thank yous to all of you!

I've officially stepped out of my teens. It doesnt feel that make different. But I better grow up. I'm going to be a teacher. And an adult.

Seeing all the happy birthday "sang" on msn and over the phone just wakes me up that I have responsibilities.

I loves yousssssss!

The adrenaline of driving. The joy of finding those swings. Make my night.

I'm going on a happy rush. Coz tomorrow I shall have Sentosa for fun!

Weaving emotions in logic betrays me,
Logic doesnt apply well with me.
Leaning half in tilts the balance unevenly,
I cant hit the equilibrium even when i try.
How am I to measure love pound for pound?
When to know the equal of exchange?
Have you instructions to direct?
I am tried for misunderstood,
Acquit me please.

Once bitten. He said "I'll be".
"I can be everything you need".
Twice shy. He said "I'm good".
"You wont find a reason to dip in sick".
Gave my consent and turned a whirl.
Back to square one facing Free.

I was born a lie,
If I were anymore fake, I'd be a Doll,
Perfect inside my plastic shell,
My soul is trapped helplessly inside,
That hubris I once had is gone,
I have a hole where my heart's supposed to be,
I'm simply tired of life,
Is this the way its supposed to be?

Kitty left this. I believe we can survive too, Dar!

We just need LOVE.

P.S. I need to buy new cosmetics, work clothes and shoes. I need to go shopping.

Official Day Off from now on for me!

Crux of the exams are over. Though I'll just fail and waste away the whole sem as I perceived. The whole paper was done with such lightheartedness that I don't even know if I went for the exam for sure. Until the hunger pang kicked in and I find myself yearning for food.

Anyway! Didnt manage to move ALL the stuff home. Just all the basics. I wonder just when will I move my pillow, bolster, blanket, bedsheets, book tray, whole shelf of books, and my utensils home. Not to mention TV and fridge. I wont worry so much about the former. The latter.....it seems PapaTan cant get any transport to bring them home and I do need to clear my room by 17th May. Help??

I'm feeling so lightheaded now! Float!

People, please bear witness.

On 11th April 2007, 6.16pm, Tendzil promises Jess to go shopping in town next thursday, 19th April 2007.

There! I shall start posting up the important appointments so I will never ever forget anything again. Oh well.....minimal forgetfulness.....

Now that there's Jess and my Girls settled, I'm left with Darren, Sonny, Shs, Jo, blablahblah.

Before it slips my mind again, 12th May 2007 is for Siew. Alright. I promise I wont forget all the appointments. SO please try to tell me early. I am not entertaining last minute appointments. Your hands or legs wont miraclously fall off if you tell me when you want to go out with me early. Thank you.

And if I dont respond, please just freaking stop asking. I am never going to date you. NEVER!
YES! I'm talking to You, You, You & You! Get a life!

AIYO! Not even end of exams and my heart's flying out for fun!

My mind is filled with science info, GSP Assignment, presentations. In my dreams.

I'm sitting at a table overflowing with notes, getting all excited about next tuesday. I'm going sentosa! Again!

Exams are dangling in front and all I can think about is going out to play. I spent an hour looking for my cake online, another discussing that day with ting and another couple more lamenting about school to Jess. Sending Smses back and forth with Yun, getting each other excited about our combined celebrations.

It didnt help that Alvin's constantly online to play with me. So many distractions. So many programmes. How am I to chain my mind to work?

But I'm going Sentosa! We're going to have a picnic. I requested for those tall skinny candles. Since we have to sing two rounds of birthday songs, I think we surely need it. Moreover I've got loads to wish for. Yun will have more too. For the very first time, I'm looking forward to my big 2-0!

Except I'll be celebrating damn early.....Well...not exactly....I still will go Sentosa! YEA~!

I cant remember when I started the queue system. All the stupid things I did all those years ago. Not to say I'm not stupid now, but my stupidity is getting a little less.....

Back to this queue system. Apparently, it functions just like how it should in a clinic. The patients take a tag and await their turns. Severe injuries takes priority. How on earth I came up with this I have no idea. It must be during all those lessons of weird logics. Not to mention I had the ten commandments criteria as acceptance test. All the stupid stunts I pull.

And now its all coming back coz Sonny's back. All this time I thought he was jesting. It turns out he was just staying out of scene coz there were someone all the time. And now he's back to claim the next in line. Still, Sonny! "kinda like" isnt exactly a strong enough point. So.....hm...try harder?

Anybody claiming the next?

Moving on(!), has a proper dinner with Papa and Mama and Brett. Its still Teochew fish and crabs and sotong and kangkong. The typical Tan dinner. It feels nice to be normal again. Not busy with dating and going out for Brett&I. No bowling for PapaTan.

All the times they looked at us like little children. "Eat your rice, take more blahblahblah, keep your clothes, pick up your softies, etc etc etc." Now its "your turn to drive, you like this right, mister brett brought that "friend" home le, when is yours, dont go out so late ar, wan this?"

Just last night, I had "Irreplacable" in car and all just laughed and "keep your hands on the wheel la!" Then all the whipping for "Sexyback". Craaaazy.

I'm leaving teens behind in matters of days. Crowfeets lining papa and mama's eyes without our noticing. But we are a happy family!

So much for thinking of Sentosa only exams. I ended up in Siloso beach for better half of the visit with Technician! And no......no softies came along....I cant be siao forever! And no......not cable car too....I'm nt cable siao! Oh well....just that little bit....

Were supposed to catch the new show at the new musical fountain. Instead we walked or rather drive around for the better half of the visit. Firstly, it being a holiday, people were spilling all over. Secondly, there were children running amok. Thirdly, all the eateries requires queueing for some time.

So we ended up in Cafe Del Mar. The interior's a little surreal. The lights were like fairy lights! Like those they have in disney stories! BUT we would have to eat with our bare hands if Technician had not asked for utensils! Oh well, we agreed on Km8 for the next visit anyway.

Why do people crowd anyway? Tanjong Beach was Sahara Desert while kiddes were buzzing around Siloso. People!

Anyway I'm going back again soon! Yea!

P.S. Darlings, Yun&I will be having the big days together! Any day from 16th April on BUT before 23rd alright?? No more belated please!

Home feels so nice! I didnt leave it too long ago but it feels like eons ago.

Jer is slightly late and almost couldnt pick me up. Bean accompanied me. The cleaner auntie kept peeking out through the laundry windows at me sittin on my bags. She must be thinking "This lao siao eh, holding that Bean bear. Must be thrown out for being siao eh."

No thx to Jer!

Bean's going everywhere with me!

Love determined by how many blings my man can get me. Do I understand what I'm driving at? I have no idea.

I wish my mind is not incoherent half the time. Maybe I would understand myself.

But till then as Cardigan sings "Love me love me~ Say that you love me~"

I tink I lost my ipod btw. Mama wont be surprise if I lose myself anytime soon.

DAR! We havent been out since........Cookie's leaving....No that doesnt count.....I cant remember... But anyway! Yun's big day is coming up! Have the girls-out then? Eddie's always free for clubbing anyhow. (He's officially a she for NOW). Anyway see me soon! After next week, my life will be free!

Tomorrow I can go home! There's just something not very nice about hostel. Besides the fact that I'm totally free, eat as and when I want, do my laundry the way I want and basically lead a hellish recluse life. All without the kind of pampering I want. Which makes the returning to punggol all the more enjoyable. 2 more weeks and I can move back for 3 proper months. 3 months of fun. And work(?)

And coz old man says I dont have the capability to take care of myself, I have been meticulous in taking vitamins. Amazingly(whateva!), it helps. I managed to remember I've thrown my laundry into the washing machine in hall before running out to meet old man. Thank god for some memory at last!

Anyway the past week has been crazy. Ended classes for two modules. Ending all modules this week except for one. Exams and assignments next week. YET I'm still thinking of going out this week. IT IS EASTER DAY after all! I think I'll be out no matter what. It's just a matter of with who.

2 days with old man! Went to Central at Clarke Quay. Saw this quirky restuarant called Paisley and Cream. Cant wait to try it! Caught the TMNT too. and we rented Nada Sou Sou today. That makes two lazy days!

Not to mention The Hitcher with Technician! With Pelny and Ratty and Elfie! Ratty Fatty shall reunite with his buddy and wife soon! And Pelny has lots of space to sleep in. Plus my clips are still with Technician. And we shall go Sentosa soon!

Shall endearvour to think about it only after exams. ONLY AFTER NEXT WEEK.

A very early birthday present

Phantom of the Opera. 28th April.

Okies the present will play out after that fateful day. STILL! Its Phantom of the Opera!

YEA

I forgot my ez-link is zero on cash and happily board a bus. Then I discover of so many stupid purses in my bag, I've got no coins. Just as I was about to approach an aunty, she offered me a dollar with a smile and kept telling me "bu yong jing". Just as I was about to drop the coin in the coin deck, the bus captain says its okies, I can catch a ride since its only two stops and the bus's always deserted anyway.

That's two deeds for me in 15minutes. There's the saying which goes what comes around goes around. I don't know if I've got good karma but these two kind souls definitely are my angels. If only I were as lucky everyday.

Which I can't be. Darren just mentioned about catching Meet the Robinsons today. But of all the sundays I dont have to go to my popo's place, there's no Robinsons to catch. Anyway its sneaks for this weekend. We can catch it from 5th spril on!

Which brings to mind Cherise's birthday. Which prompts JiaoJiao's birthday too. And then there's YunYun's birthday. Then finally, it'll be MY birthday! The cousins and niece are suggesting we meet up for Good Friday. Shall pray that everybody's schedule will fit. As for Yun's, she hasn't say anything. It has to be shopping soon .

One shit thing about this year will be Yun & I will officially be out of teen years. I'll be an old freak in less than a month! It didnt help that it falls on a monday. Of all the days, it had to fall on a day whereby I have to stay in hall. Argh!

Running late!