He popped by this morning, taking me by surprise. I thought it should be clear. But apparently, I staged a bf for him. For a while there, I hoped he had got over it and simply wished me well. Yet when his mouth opens, I wished he'll just get away.

He said he loved me best when nobody could. In a way, I understood what he said.

When we first got together, it wasnt as ideal. I didnt understand the big secrecy or the fact that I'm called "friend", yet my responsibilites covers the role of a girlfriend. But I chose to overlook that fact coz for awhile I like having my hands held or that I have someone when that dragonlady flies off the handle or all the nice things I could have when I was with him.

But there's bound to come a day when I'm sick of bring a shadow or "Punggol" or "friend". I'm standing firm on my decision, but will it work?? I'm not even sure myself. How things blow hot and cold sometimes, it's just so unpredictable.

But I dont see how I can help myself now. My cramps are killing me anyway. Xiao Bai has got lots to do tonight.

Faced with a wall, what should I do really?