A day since I've been back. When I was excited to leave, I cant wait to be back as well. Still not done relishing my trip yet, shall elaborate about the tour another time.

The reason for blogging: my mind is bogged!

I dont understand what exactly is Jeremy feeling and most probably I never will. At a point, I was more than willing to pour out everything for him. But that moment passed and it seems he's still stuck in the time machine whilst I've raced off and left him eating my dust.

I felt selfish and cruel for breaking up with him. But I'll be cruel to myself if i had stayed on. While I wished i could have got over it and stayed with him, fact is I could not and never have. Affection doesnt last long but it doesnt mean I threw away all our memories the moment I left him. I juz wish he can see that.

I wish there's something i can do to make this easier for him. And i dun understand this thing about the face thing. Old man told me before he cant forget his ex's smile. Now Jeremy told me he's lost without my smile. Smiles. They say its 100 watts or something. I wish my smiles will juz get brighter and brighter and brighter and just glow so bright it blinds people forever. Especially Jeremy then he can finally hate me for making him blind.

Girls! Use your smiles! So someone cant forget it. Guess that's what they say about keep smiling, you never know who's falling in love with your smile. Shall smile like mad when i go out so i can make someone fall in love with my smile. Then I can be someone's Siao Eh.

sheesh! Where's the numb when u need it?