Woes

Ed Babe called up the other night & I was with Jer. Which makes me not want to talk to Ed in case i let slip about something Jer's not supposed to know or appear distracted over the phone. But the line on Ed's lips was "You're still with him?"

Incredulous.

Even Charlen (my roomie! a sweet sweet girl!) asked me that just last night.

We are incompatible. I am tired of this relationship. I really want to pull out. This relationship has disintegrated into tantrums, quarrels, physical pleasure and boredom. He doesnt see it more than last time. To Jer it works and that's all he cares.

He's right to say he is an ass. I have no doubts he is. Coz that personality has spilled over into our relationship. The kind of attitude he displays in restaurants, the kind of moods he presented outside, it all irks me. My upbringing makes me polite to service and my sensitivity prompt me to be kind. But it seems Jer's ass attitude is inherited from his cousin. The exact same traits.

We met up with the cousin. He brought along a girl obviously so much younger. & he gave the waiter shit ass attitude. Their money is nuts. & they are already like that. I wonder what kind of a face I'll see if they are even remotely rich. Half way through our time together, the cousin whispered to the gf he saw a friend across the street, should he go over and say hi? At that moment I see Jer so clearly in him. I didnt tell Jer about it. I dont see the point.

& lately, both of us got so defensive. He still wants to go ahead with his business plan. Or rather plans now. Which really irritates me, coz he is lazy and impractical. He's been going on and on about the concierge thing. But never even do any market research. Didnt even talk to someone who had set up business. Ever since last year. If he brngs up that he doesnt have time its plain bullshit.

Moreover who is willing to fork out money to have things which they can jolly well do it themselves. It wont take long for me to pick up my phone and ake a restaurant reservation. & everyday there are anniversaries granted. But will Singaporeans make a big fuss over it? If they do, why the hell do the government implement "Romancing Singapore"?

Not to mention that the 1st plan is only stuck in the brain wheel, a 2nd plan is born. To wash cars in camp. Only he doesnt wash it, a Blanga will. The cheapest wage is 800. He targets 10 cars a day with 5 per car. Thats a 1000 a month. Does it make sense to hire someone then? & he still hasnt ask his boss. Yet he's saying things like "I should get Edward to do it in his camp as weel" When HIS is not in motion yet. And his camp's security wont allow another being in I bet. & he can say childish things like "The camp also hire foreign workers to do our walls. I dont see why I cant?" He can say those workers are hired by government. Yet he doesnt see the sense in it. It reminds me of my mom and her amazing theories. Only difference she's uneducated but Jer is. Dreamer really suits him.

In addition to all these fantasies, whenever a Ferrari passes by or when we walk by brands, he'll say "OMG!" or "next time when I'm rich I'll shop/buy/drive/eat only there" Yet he doesnt put anything into action to work towards that goal. Thats what irks me. Thats what irritates me.

Furthermore, he still remains secretive about his bloody stupid life. What "I dont want others to see me" when I mention the lack of pictures in MSN. It sure feels good to know others take priority over me. & that cant be applied to me. No. He'll ask and ask about my friends. I'm expected to drop all my things when he comes over but I have to understand he needs to play Maple when I'm over.

I've realise long before he cant b the one. Besides my mom factor, there are so much standing between us. Our different background. Our upbringing. Everything doesnt fit anymore. The honeymoon period is truly over.

Soon. Soon everything will be over. Coz my irritation is getting the better of me. My anger is seeping into open. & everything cant be saved.