Everybody's making NewYearResolutions. When I try to come up with mine, it seems so superficial and pathetic.

All i can think of right now is:
1) Getting my driver's license
2) Earning money

There was all the plans about dieting, sewing, business, clubbing into the wee hours every night. But its not going to happen simply coz the Dargon forbids it strongly. I mean she almost wenk bersek when I suggested going home at 6am! The overnight on xmas was the rarest of rare treat.

Maybe I shouldnt be complaining so much. There are, after all, children being abused every minute as I sit in my air-coned room while whining to a screen in a laid back chair, coke within my reach and Madonna on at full blast.

Do you ever wonder about a child's well-being? A neighbour, a schoolmate, a junior or simply a stranger? I completed my first book of the year in record time. I thought I wont be as interested since it's not JudithMcNaught. I find myself hanging onto it 24/7.

A Child Called "It".

Just as I was reading it on the train, this kid with a bruised arm sat down beside me. Seeing as I was reading the worst case of child abuse, I stole glances at the poor kid beside me. Until TheMother turned and reprimanded him severely for not sitting properly. Everbody simply gawked at that woman.

I wont expect a boy of seven or eight to sit with his butt firmly on a chair. Much less want him to GLUE his little buttocks to a moving train. I mean its natural for kids to be hyper n curious n mischevious and what nots. I'll scold or chide. Not hiss, snare or screech. Kids have fragile dignities.

Maybe I shouldn't comment much since I witness only part of the incident. Perhaps something triggered off the unwarrented tirade. It could be that boy was up to something prior to the ride. STILL I expected more refined behaviour from a mother.

I am entitled to pass judgement becuase MY Mother is just the same as well. You may say the disgrace were things of the past. But recently it's coming back, surfacing underneath that well kept appearance. It irks me that we simply obey coz "we are children". Is she the problem or am I at fault?

The boy in the book certainly did nothing wrong. The boy beside definitely did nothing irritating from the moment he stepped into the train. For obvious reasons, I side the boys. It sucks to be pin-pointed simply becuase you're the most convenient reason.

I uphold my stand throughout the whole of yesterday. Until I met TheRelatives. It was a most disturbing day for me. The night was a soul searching one.

Do you have a soul?

I believe I do. I was angry at TheParents for spoiling my day. So frustrated I couldnt control. Yet I was told I should understand, appreciate. Frankly I do. But not with so much intervention on their part. I pull my strings as and when i like. I shouldn't have to be a puppet.

Until(UNTIL) one of my cousins sat me down and tell me TheFamily's going to be proud of me some day. Of course she didnt jump straight and say "oh you're gona be so great!" It's just that she got me talking to cheer me up. And her husband find me interesting coz I supposedly am wise beyond my age. I get such comments throughout my academic career and I didnt understand why.

Now I do. A little bit.

Maybe someday I'll know fully. I'll be ready waiting when that day comes.