Its not another anniversary drawing near. Its not even for something joyous.

It was that I was being the Hurter, even when I don't mean it. Ok fine, maybe I do mean it, but its only slightly. I never thought I would reduce him to a hurt boy. But I did. It not something I'm proud of. It really disturb me. (Oh! Just in case you're wondering how I did it, I accomplish it by keeping mum).

In any case, I am very very sorry I did what I did.

Everything arised from the point he agreed to give up on his course. Initially it was quite exciting to have such a capable bf. But when the capability requires almost 24/7 of his time, it gets a little depressing on my side. That's what they call the Absentee Bf Syndrome.

I guess that's when I wished he's just a normal Nsman. But he's not! Until he got tired of this life, then he contemplated dropping out. If he ask me, of coz I'll want him out! 3weeks of overseas training! Army gives free condoms somemore! It doesnt take much to imagine.

I'm not the only factor obviously. Otherwise I wont speak out loudly. It will be just me hindering his future. The fact that his mom spoke out is an ally to my side! Plus he isnt a regular, as long as 2years is up, he's out of there. So what ever rank doesnt matter. It doesnt determine our relationship, doesnt affect me, doesnt have any impact on his family, then why not opt out?

Perhaps the pay is meager compared to his mates, but we've lived on $350 once I dont believe we cant spend on $500. Not to mention we have never eaten in food court even with his $350. I sure wont mind start footing the bills. Its after all buying his freedom.