The font's awfully small....

So small its threatening to spoil my eye sight.
Oh I forgot! I'm litherally blind now.
Happy reading!

AND I JUST GOT TUITION ASSIGNMENTS!
Maybe whining do help! Yea!

I'm happy now!

Sometimes I wish I am working and earning my keep. Then when i think of the working terms and time, I dont feel like going out there to brave society. Typical female finicky.

Still I sincerely wish I have a job.

Except people take it that I'm merely speaking platitudes. In spite of the fact that I enrolled with employment AND tuition agencies. Is it them or is it me? Are they wierd or am I crazy?

Then I get the smart ass remarks. Comments like "why do you want to work?" "why not stay at home?' "Its not as if you're lacking of any money". Correction: I DO need money and I wish to be independent. It reeks of complacency should I idle my time away & I hate being complacant.

Not to mention others seem to get the jobs easily. Its just me.

Never mind I'll just give tuitions. Only that no students are falling over each other to engage my service. I'll just wait & see then. That'll please that Dragon&Partner.

After all the grumbling and whining, one'll think I'm basically leading a wasteful life after the major. NO NOT NON! In fact I've passed my theory & am moving onto practical lessons for driving! Plus I've accomplished 10books in all these time. & began my mission to stitch. With outings in between DUH!

Perhaps I am simply swaying here & there for awhile. I'll be fine in a moment.

Or maybe it could be coz of Xmas being over. Before the BigDay, there was all the drumming up and hoola. When the day roll by for me to enjoy the festival, I find myself asking "Is there all it is to be?" I'm not complaining about my Xmas treat. It was after all quite some treat!

I have to give my thanks to people first(!) before I forget about it. Jer for Swissotel stay & pendant! TheParents for new waderode. Aunties for LV cherry coinpurse, Gucci bag & costume jewellry! Yea!

The presents maybe delightfully sumptous. But I expect more of the season. I find myself thinking of last xmas. Cliche but my life has changed drastically once again. Amazingly it spurn only a year. On one hand I am extremely pleased with current events. On the other hand I miss the previous year. Is there all there is to it?

Xmas feels truly and well over. I miss the presents & food & the excuse it provides for Gfs to cajole treats from Bfs. I miss the overnight. I miss Xmas.

But in the meantime, Happy Happy New Year!

The blog's been neglected long enough I admit.

But since its the first day I can get up so please forgive me.

All the tidbits and heat finally wear me out.

I shouldnt have gone on Mon. Its just a waste of time. To think they claim their water's absolutely the best! Yun and Ed were laughing in that showroom. The pressurising way they look and expect you to sign up with them is sickening.

The attitude sux, the presentation sux and the attitude sux.

If Cal-star's the miracle they claim to be, what on earth do we need doctors for?! Crazy shit!

Anyway the water's shit I tell.

They tell you you're sick immediately upon your first sip. Accordingly, Ed has gall stone and Yun has bladder problem. I'm the gone case! Wow!

Anyway I'm well enough to be up and about! I'm been hot & cold. Burning hot and freezing cold. It makes me think of sunny side up eggs and ice cream! But I was worried I'll get brain damaged along the way. You know what they say about retarded people and temperature.

In any case, ice cream is indeed a recommended remedy for hot hot situations. I'm not kidding! I've had ice cream for a night.

& chinese like to say you've got to sweat out the illness. Western cure believes in bringing down the hotness first. So I see my mom saying "Bu ke yi!" while i enjoy the cool treatment.

Its funny anything to do with coolness comes in blue. The solution was blue. The bed was blue. The room is bluish white. The wrap is blue. The nurse has blue patches on uniforms.

But anyway I'm allowed home.

In the meantime, the ghost appeared and the relationship hit a new low.

The driving test's nest fri and I've yet to start. I'll start now!

That's all for now.

While I'm sitting comfortably, my head gets ravaged by an uber idiot. Well not so much an idiot, just a disgruntled bitch. After days of staying at home, doing nothing, going out to shop, it makes me realise something. Somehow it isnt expected of families. But in my case, it is quite the only topic my pathetic excuse of a family can broah with me.

It always goes round the same issues. The why-so-stupid, why-so-crazy, why-so-fat, why-so-idiot issues. Sometimes even jobs are not your field to choose. Coz obligation comes in. Coz I'm indebted to them. Or so they believe. I agree I am. After all they reared me for so long. The expense's huge if anything. But it doesnt mean they can just throw their weight and declare ownership of me.

Yesteryear, I thought my dad wasn't as bad as my mom. After all he doesnt attempt to stick himself onto me 24/7. Now the DragonLady's a totally different case. YET now, I have a set of parents who's not only obstinate but irritating.

One continually pegs me down, the other suppresses and belittles me constantly. So what if I cant compare to them? I got THEIR genes. Did they think about that? Or is it my fault I turned out like this? Solely mine.

I've said before and I'll say it again. I wan to leave this prison as soon as possible.

I'm not on terms with the maternal cousins. The glaring reason could be they are all males! You know like male bonding is very different from female's. Even if there's conversation, there's no common ground.

So I expected it to be awkard when I contacted Wei. Only that it wasnt. Only that we sink into conversation straight away. Just like normal friends. And I wonder why it took me so long to open my mouth to talk to this decent guy. All rules considered, he's not such a bad cousin.

After all he cared enough to called when I say I have a problem. Not to be disrespectful, but I felt wierd talking about sex with him. He wasn't pushy. Nor was he overtly eager. But he pressed his point nonetheless. I'm just glad he took the Bf as the bad guy who led me astray. I'm still very much the innocent cousin.

Lol. Anywayz, it's just a beginning for us.

Cousins woes. Cheers!

Its not another anniversary drawing near. Its not even for something joyous.

It was that I was being the Hurter, even when I don't mean it. Ok fine, maybe I do mean it, but its only slightly. I never thought I would reduce him to a hurt boy. But I did. It not something I'm proud of. It really disturb me. (Oh! Just in case you're wondering how I did it, I accomplish it by keeping mum).

In any case, I am very very sorry I did what I did.

Everything arised from the point he agreed to give up on his course. Initially it was quite exciting to have such a capable bf. But when the capability requires almost 24/7 of his time, it gets a little depressing on my side. That's what they call the Absentee Bf Syndrome.

I guess that's when I wished he's just a normal Nsman. But he's not! Until he got tired of this life, then he contemplated dropping out. If he ask me, of coz I'll want him out! 3weeks of overseas training! Army gives free condoms somemore! It doesnt take much to imagine.

I'm not the only factor obviously. Otherwise I wont speak out loudly. It will be just me hindering his future. The fact that his mom spoke out is an ally to my side! Plus he isnt a regular, as long as 2years is up, he's out of there. So what ever rank doesnt matter. It doesnt determine our relationship, doesnt affect me, doesnt have any impact on his family, then why not opt out?

Perhaps the pay is meager compared to his mates, but we've lived on $350 once I dont believe we cant spend on $500. Not to mention we have never eaten in food court even with his $350. I sure wont mind start footing the bills. Its after all buying his freedom.

You Are a Total Girlie Girl

You love looking good, and wooing men with your womanly ways.You're so feminine, men are in awe of you ... which is a very good thing.

Either MrsWee forgot how I was like or she simply couldnt bear to be a bad person. After all I missed 90% of her lessons. How on earth does she even know me? Unless she got it down from MsRuk. Come to think of it, it resembles cerain traits of MsRuk's saying.

WenQi was a keen learner with an analytical mind.

That much was a surprise! Until I learned MsLam added in that line. All coz of PW. Wow......When I was put on task, it wasnt even much of work actually. The slacking at Eunice's house, the gossiping in skool, lazing during class discussions. I got the impression we were the last group. But surprises springs itself on unsuspecting people doesnt it? My group pulled through with EE overall. That's an achievement I tell you!

I guess that's where "a tactful and effective team player who contributed sincere and sensible views" comes in. Besides from PW, I dont see where MrsWee could have gotten that from.

Well, of course she must have known me personally, however little that may be. "An amicable individual" & "regarded as a cooperative and respectful young lady by all tutors" was certainly her saying.

At first glance, it seemed all bullshit. Like those models which teachers churn out at the end of every year. I believe there was a format to write such testimonials, seeing that most of us got almost the same lines and vocab. But then at a deeper level, it is truly me she's talking about.

I shared a bus ride once with MsRuk and another with MrsWee. I wasnt that talkative in class. On the contrary, I was invisible practically. Which was why they were so very pleasantly surprised I could talk throughout our trips together. I mean they looked at me like I sprouted tentacles on my head. I guess I dont look much of a talker. MrsWee even commended that I should talk more so she'll like me better.

Its embarrassing frankly coz I seldom turn up for her lessons. Even if I do, I'm day dreaming half the time. The fact that she likes me as it is was more than gratifying. To know that she thought highly of me is like the bolt of lightening striking me.

But then, we'll never know what others think of me until I ask isnt it?

I shall resolve to ask people what they think of me henceforth!

It was one of best nights. Seriously. With that music, drink, company and Jeremy.

The first dance. The drinks. Definitely RibenaVodka.

Pity not much pics on my cam. I need the pics badly. I shall harange the girls for some.

Of coz old, new, faded acquintances came up. I just dont like one of the new.

As Eunice, YouYang & ZiHui put it, Edwin managed to give me big eyes! Yea!

Somehow, I've got new beginnings just as I'm leaving behind everything. Perhaps, its a start for once. For the road of future.

A06 certainly got news fast. I'm glad I've got my class! As Adam said, Let's go out one day while looking hot like that day! Yea! Hot! With Eunice ZhaoTing and Maz of coz!

Credits to Edwin & Jer for the best night in my life of coz!!

Yea!