My aunt attended a wedding. She came back fuming and starry eyed.

Let me start with fuming.
She used to work for a Ti Koh Peh. He attempted to molest her. The Husband did nothing. So Ti Koh Peh tuanted her.(Well from what I know, it must be la). As if being a sex-crazed-perverted old man isn't enough, he has to be ultimate bloody jerk as well.

If I were her, I would have:
(a) secretly spread a rumour about TiKohPeh being impotent [but then he could sue me for slander;
(b) kicked his !@#$%% and quit immediately [but he can sue me for causing greivous harm and fatal attempt to disable him sexually];
(c) tell my husband and call a lawyer [oh i forgot, she told the Husband]

Of course my aunt did none of the above accept to sought help in the useless form of a husband. But still, she had to meet Ti Koh Peh that night. I dont know if she encountered him. But she surely wasnt happy at all!

Starry eyed!
Coz the bride married a LeeKuanYew scholar who holds high rank in the army. Guards stood by the doors and around the banquet holding swords! It sounds so wahhhhhhh.....The bride's not to be outdone oso la! She's an ambassador of our Foreign Ambassy. A highly valued one at that. Besides the amazing coupl, there's the bride's sister as well. The sister's a reputated gynae in England. AND she holds a PhD in her field.

At this point, DragonLady turned to me and said "If only you were so capable, then you can meet a boy like that then you can have a bright future"

Everything's if-only if-only. If only I was born beautiful, then i can have any guy I want. If only I were in a better school, I can know more capable people. If only I were smart, I can climb up the social ladder. If only I am the daughter of a rich man, I will know all the rich scholars in town. If only I dont have this family, I wont be tied down in an unhappy situation. If only If only. Evereything's if-only if only.

Of course I dont protest to having a husband like that! Who will? As the chinese says "So Seh Been!" All the relatives will look at you like your God! Ur friends will scamper o get into your good books. Your parents can say "Oh my daughter marry a rich scholar lei" And your wedding invitation has this fanciful line "Ms Blah-Blah-Blah is marrying Mr so-&-so, Scholar of Yr2000 LeeKuanYew Scholarship" So nice right!

But the truth is I cant! I'll feel so stupid standing next to him. His family will feel I'm below them. My family will attempt to humour his family. Then his life will only revolve round his studies, duty and work. He'll read all the info mags, only ask me questions concerning politics/current affairs/husband-obliged-question, bang hum drum once a month and expect me to carry on his family line.

It'll be worse if he's a gynae! He'll start the session by naming my body parts, then point out their uses, how we should do the deed and then carry out the procedure surgerically. Meanwhile, I either daydream and listen to him or snore into dreamland by the time he's done naming my reproductive organs. Or worse! I'll burst out laughing if he produce a body map and show me how to position myself so he can aim and shoot at the correct degree to achieve a baby result. Haiz....See, scholars are sterile business.

I dont doubt I'll have to book an appointment in advance just to ask him if I can buy that LV bag/MiniCooper/little cute bungalow/SYL dress. What a boring life! So what if I get the high life as a deal!

Haiz....where is that perfect prince?