Today didnt start off fine. It was bottoms if anything. Last night's feud carried on to this morning. I could blame it on the menses, I can blame it on the weather. But at the end of that day, I know those were not valid. It just takes a simple confession. A little finger pointing in my way. But I find it so difficult to put myself in the wrong for the situation. Does it apply to you?

I know of people who finds no trouble blaming themselves. I saw friends who readily accept the blame. I can't. Coz I have ego. I have pride. But not so conceited that I can't admit my faults eventually, gradually. Ok maybe I'm not exactly a saint. I'm not saying I am one. I am in the middle though. And that's good enough for me. It indicates I'm normal.

I wont want to end up like some stuck up bitch who claims perfection(including themselves). Their "perfection" obviously is a skewed mindset. There are no such person around. You may think a cerain beautiful person is living the high life,driving that fast car, wearing that sleek dress. But underneath it all, do you see the turmoil they are in? Or in worse(but common) cases, the perfect exterior is simply that. A shell. A beautiful mask.

Who doesnt wish to be naturally intricately crafted? Who doesnt want a face like Dawn's or a body like Jlo? Whcih guy will give up on the idea of a 6pack body and Beckham's hair? But beauty comes at a heavy price. Greatness spawns jealousy. That's why there's all the crap about these stars who supposedly underwent surgery to achieve their looks.

I cant stand firm and claim I do not wish to be theBeautiful, theRich and theHip. I do wish very very much. Well, to be pretty I mean. Every girl does. How else do you explain the rising bulimia/anoerxic phenomenom?
But the iron chain which comes with it, makes me glad I possess none. I dont want to walk around school and have girls creating malicious rumours behind my back. Or hurting tuantings in front of the toilet mirrors.

Or course to make such a sweeping assumption is dramatising the situation. But beautiful girls are unpopular amongst female population. Attas for guys. Such people are a threat, a thorn, a disease, the unformed. We slam them publicly then admire them secretly. It's tiring isnt it?

But its even harder work to be the Threat. Perhaps I cant aptly describe the situation they are trapped in. Just like how a stick girl will never be able to give off the essence of sufferings people like me feel.

However, at the end of the day, I know I'll be glad and sad for not being theBeautiful, theRich and theHip.