Straits time ran an article about women never being satisfied with their own bodies. The author isn't those stick insects you see on mag covers. She's a real woman who has issues with conforming to ideals. She's been through the phases of inflating and deflating within a short period of time. But it didn't work. Coz she'll never be the kind of skinny girls Singapore seem to breed. Just like me.

I believe this problem doesn't reside in only female counterparts. It exists among the men as well. Just that it's the opposite of us. They always feel this innate desire to appear bigger (not fat hor) than the average Joe. Once again, our sunny little island seems to specialize in rearing slim guys. When I say slim, it isn't complimentary at all. What's a skinny guy to do when you need someone to carry you to doctor's/from couch to room/marriage room? Hire a crane or a bodybuilder? Or roll you to the destined spot?

Who set the ruler of beauty? Big=manly, thin=beautiful? Who came up with the saying that Asians are tiny? It's only the Japs. Look at the contemporary art pieces of Indonesia! Its full of round hip women with a substantial body to anchor themselves on Earth. Why then do Singapore girls look like a blowup of dwarfs? Just pop by FarEast & take a look at the clothes they stock you'll see what I mean. Those kiddy-looking outfits are for the malnutrition! I feel an alien walking down Orchard streets full of these midgets.

How on earth do they manage to be sticks!? Why do their skirts look like it's just a strip of cloth? Why is that they fit into XS clothing & still remain breathing? (Which reminds me of Corpse Bride's Victoria, Her mom "tighten that corset dear, I can hear you speak without gasping") Do they even eat? It's all just skin & bones ain't it? Is it coz Singapore's small therefore the tiny reflection on people? Well you know what they say about humans reflecting physical settings... Hong Kong seems to be caught in the same situation...what is it with us Asians cramming into limited spaces anyway?

I'll never be the XS or even S girl. I'll take a M & jump for joy. When puberty hit me prematurely at Pri3, I got it really bad. My chest ballooned from a nothing to melons! Kids are never kind creatures to begin with. My classmates certainly never did sympathize with me. I doubt if a "oh poor thing" ever cross their minds. I vividly remember me trying to wiggle out PE lessons. Frankly the PE shirt isn't made for those with boobs. Just lift your arms and woooaaa...boobie flash! The boys started the "tau nei bu" label. The girls never did joined in but they snigger. Soon after I realized its just jealousy. They remained flat for the rest of Pri days. Even they did grow, there's no significant improvement. Wahahahah!!!!

Another incident, which I'll never forget, is a medical checkup nurses like to do in Pri schools. Why Pri?? Anyway we were having a routine backbone check. The nurse commented about my slightly crooked bone. Apparently my boob is proving to be too much of a burden. Then she proceeded to assess my shoulders. Since I took swimming trainings, I'm not surprised about the broadness. She just stared & hesitantly said "your bones...strong hor..." I take it that she means it's big. I felt like a dinosaur treading on human grounds.

From then on, I tried slouching to hide them. I attempted to bind them. I even slept on my front in an attempt to stop its growth. I got over it though. Nowadays I may not be ashamed of them. But I just smile that oh-stretch-that-lips-just-a-little smile and get over it. People won't understand the backaches you have, the frustration you experience when no bra fits you and the sheer leers you get from stupid dirty old men.

Funnily enough, there are girls who'll trade anything to be in my shoes. & I'll gladly exchange my big frame for those stick insect figures. Humans...weird creatures...