So I'm just not good enough. After 5days, it's still me to pick on. What a sweet mom i have. She watched Superstar on tv and ask me why can't be pretty like her(contestant)? She passed by boutiques and asked me why can't be slim like her(shopper)? She sat down to have dinner and ask me why can't i be ladylike like her(another diner)? Haiz...I don't understand her. Just coz I'm not aattractive like the "her"s so I'm not good enough? Just coz I will never be on model contests, singign contests or ating contests so I'm not good enough? But actually its true. Babes say I must slim down. Dear said I should too. Everybody says so. Should I?

Cold war saga is still on btw. Its ice glacier at home. Worse in car. My mucus can be heard tickling my nostrils. Haiz.... pathetic home front I have here. Maybe its coz of my mom. Maybe its coz of my dad. They believe the fault lies with me. Root of the problems. Whatever. Why keep me when all I am is trouble then? Wierd people. Sometimes I wonder if I truly am their daughter..... I just don't have their genes.

Ting just had an argument with yang today. Why is it that whenever one has a problems, 99% of the time it has to do with love? Love is bittersweet. Extremely high points but it can drop you off to bottomless pit. A fall you can't stop unless love decides to reach out for you. The peaks and lows of a relationship is it worth it? Mine.....yea....Ting's too. Joce's too. Not Siewling's though.

Siewling's bf brought her to meet the parents. From what she described, it's the in-laws from hell. Well, monster-mother-in-law that is. The mom prayed to the gods once Siewling stepped through the door. Then went on to grill her about her education level, family background and her character. Then assessed her dressing and "politely" offered to bring her on a shopping trip. Geez. The 2nd time she saw Siew, she invited her to an impromptu dinner with relatives and asked others to grade her. For me I would have walked out. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, I deserve my dignity. It's as if Siew's a piece of jade on show. To grade her according to the colour and workmanship and place of product.

I hope I shall never have to come across such boyfriends with such families. I hate guys with baggage in the form of families. But then again, I don't think I will have serious problems with older generations. I look decent enough. Its a different story underneath it all. *winks*

One thing about having someone who knows you better than anyone else is scary at times. This someone will most probably be the aiai. Maybe it doesn't work for you. It works for me. Ting I know. May I know. Joce I know. Love can simply hit the spot which you thought it doesn't show. That you felt you've hidden well. It amazes me. But he take it as natural. I don't know. How does it work? I can't seem to find the right things to do and points to show him. Not good enough again?

He'll be out tomorrow. Won't be seeing him though. Will he miss me?