me, myself and i

I'm so damn hot! There's 2 meanings to it.

1st: i on my air con at full blast but i'm still sweating! Argh!! what's wrong with the sun?? Why is it working overtime? Its freaking freaking hot. Everything's so bitter now. The food sucks. And you. Hell knows if which you i'm referring to. Then i'm so cold i wear a sweater with a long sleeve shirt and cotton pants sitting in the sun. Then i realised i'm just being sick. chey.

2nd meaning of my hot: I'm hot as in hot property hot. i'm just being imaginative. Life's boring and bitter. Bitter.

Its only natural for girls to have dreams of their own, dreams which involve romance, a someone and be loved by that someone. But what happens when that dream gets fused with reality? Insecurity comes in. It freaking bad to have that to say the least. Its worse if its not assured or even allayed. Where am i coming from?? its an awkard mess. Thats where i'm coming from.

I just want to be yours. prove to be the knight and i'll be.

Okies so jeremy brought a cake to skool. But its freaking pathetic!Hears only loudmouth ting's singing on cam.lolz she's loudspeaker cum producer cum motivator. Loves her.Loves Jo. Loves weijie.Loves ling.OF coz n him.

HOWEVER , 2idiots mentioned above disrupted the cake session towards e end.Dumbo told us we cant eat outside of canteen and germy's supposed to report to office.Report e F*** he's leaving.as we were leaving,shitface had to make a comment.Of coz i understand he must be heard not onli seen.His BEST fren Dumbo was being snubbed by us.SO SHitface HAD to *ABSOLUTELY had to stand up for his bestest fren. Lucky lucky birds we are. We got booked. Hey babeEdwin, next time juz ignore them n walk off.

If ever imagination gets real,Shitface will be pelted with shit and smeared with diarrhoea, all e watery green shit. den Dumbo will learn to pronouce his words properly by repeating "I will not be busybody" for one whole day without water. but den i still feel assuage for my dampened foyer party. Damn! I'm a woman!

-life-

When life gets you down,just pick yourself up and carry on.What about the blood the wounds the cuts? When its bleeding and you grow faint at the sight of blood?Do you still hold on alone or do you wait for help?Are people even aware of the state you're in?Will they bother to reach out?

Poe's protagonists tear open themselves to reach the secrets.To attain closure on their quests for answers.Disintergration has to take place for results to show.Death holds the ultimate key of truth.I'm not doing anything as perverse.Its just a metaphor which applies.Its amazing to have someone to love another so much to suffocate to kill. Love me to death suffocate me with hugs smother me with attention at least its a beautiful death.

Emptied my mind to feel my thoughts.I did nothing at all.

A crystallised diamond formed of retina.

-dancey aRT6-

We won 3rd!!!Went crazy absolutely bonkers and us drama mamas ran upstage to scream! WE are bestest.It'll sure be one hell of a night which i will nv forget. Damn! who can boast of winning a competition with a class in jc? In jc where all nerds rule, we ROCK E SKOOL wv ELVIZ!!

Moi big day-i stayed at home.Thank u lots of u for being nice. I LOVE YOU GUYS! so sorrie i didnt spend time with u guys. but i'll be free next week! make it up to u guys!

-crazy-
normal mundane day.jiali's bdae.bought piyopiyo dustbin wv hello kitty sweets.childish.-retain e child in us-

-coming of age-
Attention people, Cleopatra has no plans.Juz send a proposal as to wat to do and whr to her committee online at mosquito_crap@wenqi.com. Deadline 4 submission is 22nd april. plz include a minute to minute detailed plan of the day's activities. Look forward to your suggestions.

ARGH! Can someone just plan something and let me know? I LOVE SURPRISES. i promise i wont suffer HEART ATTACK. btw i tink u guys hv to treat me nicer.coz apparently my dad forgot abt me totally. To make up for his neglience, I personally will prefer a five-star treatment as suited to a Queen. Mr Soh is obviously not doing anything.Ms Chua,Mr Choo, Ms YunYun n MS Ong, PLEASE MAKE UP TO ME!

my him
HE fetched me after skool.Hey!That's his duty.After all i didnt ask him to fetch.He was dumb enuf to do so even when i was picking a fight with him. Haiz....where to get a dumb guy like that??He's e dodo bird. He's so lucky i have a fetish for endangered species. lol yup! HEy! count ur blessings! Considering his long term affair with gym, He shud be kissing the ground i walk on coz of my magnanimous nature. WOW~ HEY DEAR R UN READING THIS? WORSHIP THE GROUND I WALK ON! ur not gona hv much chance to do for long. HAiz...where can u get this type of a wondeful gf?

Okies so he's not non-existent anymore. U saw the photo(yea it sux but e cam sux.It specialises in uglism) I changed my status. Quit quizzing abt him. He's not necessarily gd JUZ COZ HE DRIVES!! but then he's gd. aw....wat crashing news.H e enjoys the idea of POLYGAMY, TRY HIM! nth much to bitch abt him. ONLY I,MOI,ME, is allowed to do so. The rest juz shut up.

-luv 4rm fugly a.k.a cleopatra a.k.a cutie- extremes of my hair disparity.*muack-i love myself

Yunyun steamboat-nice and full.Crazy and fast.Short on time.But photo fun.We're narcisstic. dawn - a teacher?? our siao gi na theme.

Had my hair rebonded. Flat like prata. Stupid like geek. But somehow it resembles cleopatra. Muack*I'm lovely.

Incoherent. Heeeyyy but that's just being me. Coz i'm just the unreasonable one who always like to shoot ppl down. Dont be concern abt me. Ever. Coz i'm out to kill. Thrashing. Biting. Cutting. Heeeyyyy I'm just being me. Leave me to being me.

I like being the way i am. Getting on with life as a bitch in mine.

Leave me alone

Lolz Joce sang that,the class sang that and i sang that.My OST-the Solitary Life of An Unwanted Princess. So unwanted. An unsung heroine. Wow.....I'm damn crapping. But not about the lonely part. Coz i am indeed lonely. Haiz....Double Haiz....

McWorld is taking over the world!We're living in an increasingly small world,we're surviving in a global city.Distances are shrinking and voids are filling.Supposedly together,Why then loneliness still persists?Why then are people facing this world negatively?Coz we are on the edge of a revolution.One which probably will extinguish all mankind and forms of lives. This village will eventually become so small,so much so that i'll suffocate in it. Mayeb i'll die before the end of the world then.

Silas believes for every decision one makes now, consequences will entail. The theme of fate. That's believing in predestined fate.That's living one's life according to plan. I didnt realise. Now i do. I won't be able to get rid of the ghosts. Coz there's nothing i can do. I dont want to be reminded of buried memories but the gravediggers will always rake it up.I dont need to be taunted for what i did.I'll always remember.But external help always come.A help i dont need. Save me.

-I crave for lagsana.Thick cheesy ones.To eat through the layers of cheese.Just like them eating away my shaky present pretense.-

Imp of the Perverse-the ultimate story of Poe of human perverseness.His world is so bleak and dark,gloomy and stormy.Death revolves in his life and he always lose sumone.He never gets any better emotionally, he went bersek eventually.But his ideas, depressing it may be, it holds some truth.His world has no moral conduct,he believes we step closer to death each passing day and we are the true gothic figures ourselves.

We thought ourselves superior.But at the end of the day,we are no better than animals.We still have cave man instinct within us. Scary yes,disgusting yes but true.How else can we explain all the terror n horror we arose in ourselves?wE are simply wasting our lives logging for material stuff.Wat abt the spiritual well being?what abt my true passion?Sumhow it always feels like i'm living a bleak world.

Ms Kon says we'r living on teh edge of a certain revolution.The bible believes eventually the world will end. and economists believe the time wil arrive in 50-100 years times. Since i know my future's so bleak, why bother striving so hard now?

I feel like going down the egde of cliff.to live my fear in my dying moment.Onli when i step towards death will i gain knowledge.Ironic, The knowledge i gain is immerse, Yet i have to die.

Lois came back from Hongkong~bought me chocolates~befits the name of it~melty kisses~ melts in your mouth like snowflakes on the ground -yumyum

How i wish i can go hongkong,to visit disney,to sing my M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E MICKEY MOUSE!,to go shopping,to go yum cha,to eat dim sum.That's life man! But it means i have to work like mad after my As to save to go hongkong. Hongkong~I love hongkong~mai dong xi chi tong xi mai dong xi chi dong xi~

Slept at sick bay todae.Wooooooweeeee~joce,ting n me cramp on one bed.Next time i'll bring my pillow n bedsheet n special bolster.I felt so lesbian. After joce left,ting n i had a pillow talk.Damn it sounds so suggestive!But then we had a major laughing session.I felt better after that.Well....slightly better...at least....Did silas marner.copied antony n cleo. i feel such an immerse sense of achievement.

SHE packed lunchbox for me!YES SHE! It kinda scary come to think of it. But then "canteen food's not good.take care."="i'm sorrie for losing my marbles.don't take it to heart" hhheeeeeeeeyy.I'm a coolcat.

I'm not crazy.I'm not unreasonable.I'm just realising what i truly want and need.

-He held an umbrella to shelter a tired me.The rain may pour and drown sounds out.I looked at him and i hear his smile.Sweet sweet day-

Liang xiao wu chai

How i wish i have beautiful glassy eyes like dat....
No reflection of turmoil of emotion within.

I'm blogging too much i know.My release my prozac my pain.
Thx Jianxiang n Mr Mark.
Ting n Siew n Simon n Me.
-I love you all-

The clock strikes twelve,my castle dwell.
To dungeons i'm thrown,to beasts i know.
Clawing frantic,biting ferociously.
They mocked at me deranged.
The superficial pain.
I'm lost forever.Hid from the world.
Where will i be,come morning again?

It was sad to know school's the only place i go,without worries or thoughts,of glooms n sorts.
well of coz there's the fear of lessons and the pressure of studies.But these are rather minute,compared to what i'm facing.

Cutting oneself doesnt help. But at least physical wounds heal. Even if a scar's left, it simply reminds one occasionally of that time,that long long past. A cut within one itself, never do stop bleeding truly. Think abt it.

Things at home are looking up.However, I'm still sore. I feel like such a brat for ignoring my parents. Yet i dont see any sense in admitting fault. The plain reason is I didnt commit any wrong!Mayeb they do sense it, maybe they realised their wrong. I know i cant expect an apology,so i revert to normal. Just that i felt so alienated.So out of place.So isolated. That's when i realise, I'm alone again.

After a while, I'm getting tired. It seriously was never my fault. Just that i happen to be thinking too much, wondering too much and guessing too much. But if i were secure(if EVER) i know i would never have my doubts. Where then is that promise?Where then is my security?

Did my mom's words prove itself right? That i pay a price for everything nice? The fool the fool. How do i tell the truth from lies?How do i separate the casanovas from the romeos? How do i sieve through the dirt for the essence?

-The knowledge i will never learn-

-Coz i have no need of it any longer-

-I am what i needed.-

-Myself unto myself-

i cant slp.Cant cant slp. I'm tired.My eyes' protesting.But my mind's woorking.Churning and grinding like a chained wheel. So many issues. So many doubts.So many questions. I'm lost.

I'm acquitted of my crimes.It just simply got me thinking.Is my character so tainted, that my closest kins are doubting me?am i so questionable that my words are cheap and my explanations wasted?or is it coz i'm detestable?am i so easy to dismiss, so much so that i hold no gravity?i ceased to exist once out of sight?

I went through my reports and others' comments, i dun see the ger they see. I vaguely remembered being her once, but all that was just faded past. I knew i lost her once i messed. messed with identity,with fate,with trust.I played too much and lost too much.To gain back my pure world of white and black.I'm simply a hypocrite,a leech feeding on blood-the essence of life.

-For a good ger, i'm a bad ger. For a bad ger, I'm a good ger.-Where am i? Neither here nor there.

Ms Ruk believes my shell hides a star within.I'm sorry i'm just a rotten apple.My star's lost.I'm gone.

-Ting, Yun,Ling & Joce, pull me through-

~so not goin skool.get me an ice bag~

If their love constitutes accusations, i rather not have it.
When their concern involves degrading me, i rather run.
Should their care doubt my integrity, i rather hide.

But facts cant be changed, words cant be taken back.
I heard what i did, I stood a trial where i'm doomed.
I was pushed off all alone, my crimes housed myself.
Betrayed my flesh, attain my aim.
But what do i get in the end?

Lip service--nice while it last.
But what i really need do u care?
Are you even aware what i'm going through?
The sting,the bruise,the pain?
You claim to know, you say you do.
But where then is your prove?
I thought you would have realised it.
I thought wrong.I was the fool once again.

Disappointment--was it gone or is it there?still?
If things are going my way,where then is my satisfaction?
Why then disappointment is making itself permanent within me?
-a torn in within.to get at me when i least expect.you twisted it in.sniggered at my pain.-

I'm sane. Logic is my point. Irrational is pervading. where was i?

When i laugh or when i cry, its forbiding,
Through the rain and the stormiest weather,
I'm gona stand alone unbending, its forever.

Screaming at the world for letting me go.
Scratching at the doors for closing on me.
Begging for them to just accept me.
Just that i was no longer a being.
You didnt hear my plea.
Do i ever exist?

What an irony. I am made a joke.